Toddlers Are A holes

Toddlers Are A  holes
Author: Bunmi Laditan
Release: 2015-04-07
Editor: Workman Publishing Company
Pages: 176
ISBN: 9780761185758
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period. Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine."). Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.

Three Year Olds Are A holes

Three Year Olds Are A  holes
Author: Sarah Fader
Release: 2016-06
Editor: Osiris Ink
Pages: 54
ISBN: 1941065171
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

Once upon a time Sarah Fader wrote a blog post called 3-Year-Olds Are Assholes. It went viral on HuffPost Parents with over 400,000 shares on Facebook. This book tells the story of three-year-old Samantha, who is determined to make a rainbow. It features illustrations by Shari Ryan.

How to Raise Kids Who Aren t Assholes

How to Raise Kids Who Aren t Assholes
Author: Melinda Wenner Moyer
Release: 2021-07-20
Editor: Penguin
Pages: 353
ISBN: 9780593086933
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a clear, actionable, sometimes humorous (but always science-based) guide for parents on how to shape their kids into honest, kind, generous, confident, independent, and resilient people...who just might save the world one day. As an award-winning science journalist, Melinda Wenner Moyer was regularly asked to investigate and address all kinds of parenting questions: how to potty train, when and whether to get vaccines, and how to help kids sleep through the night. But as Melinda's children grew, she found that one huge area was ignored in the realm of parenting advice: how do we make sure our kids don't grow up to be assholes? On social media, in the news, and from the highest levels of government, kids are increasingly getting the message that being selfish, obnoxious and cruel is okay. Hate crimes among children and teens are rising, while compassion among teens has been dropping. We know, of course, that young people have the capacity for great empathy, resilience, and action, and we all want to bring up kids who will help build a better tomorrow. But how do we actually do this? How do we raise children who are kind, considerate, and ethical inside and outside the home, who will grow into adults committed to making the world a better place? How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a deeply researched, evidence-based primer that provides a fresh, often surprising perspective on parenting issues, from toddlerhood through the teenage years. First, Melinda outlines the traits we want our children to possess—including honesty, generosity, and antiracism—and then she provides scientifically-based strategies that will help parents instill those characteristics in their kids. Learn how to raise the kind of kids you actually want to hang out with—and who just might save the world.

Toddlers are Assholes

Toddlers are Assholes
Author: Jennifer Siegel
Release: 2021-04-27
Editor: Unknown
Pages: 220
ISBN: 1802532323
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

TODAY 55% OFF FOR BOOKSTORES ! NOW at 33.95 instead of 42.95 Help toddlers ages 1 to 3 go from dirty diapers to using the potty in just 3 days! This guide covers everything you need to know, from prepping for your potty training weekend to supporting and encouraging your child Go beyond other potty training books with: - Insight into your child―Understand what's going on in your child's head, how to recognize when they're ready for potty training, and more. - Keep calm through every accident thanks to a kind and conversational approach that takes the stress out of potty training. Buy it NOW and let your customers say bye-bye to potty training's struggles in the easiest way!

The Toddler Survival Guide

The Toddler Survival Guide
Author: Mike Spohr,Heather Spohr
Release: 2017-08-01
Editor: Voyageur Press
Pages: 192
ISBN: 9780760359709
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

Get the baby gates, lock the cupboards, and load up Elmo's Song, toddlers are on the loose. The Toddler Survival Guide is here to get you to the other side. Toddlers and zombies both communicate mainly through groans, clumsily trail after you everywhere you go (especially into the bathroom in the toddler's case), and--upon entering your life--leave you frazzled, on edge, and deeply sleep deprived. The Toddler Survival Guide is a hilarious parody of Max Brooks's The Zombie Survival Guide (and survival guides in general) that will leave parents laughing out loud even as it provides practical advice on how they can make it to the other side of toddlerhood intact. Written by parents who have studied toddlers up-close in their natural habitat, the book will cover survival skills including how you can outfit your home to outlast a toddler occupation (baby gate, cabinet locks, wine), how you can subdue an angry toddler ("Elmo's Song," mac and cheese, smartphone) and even how you can safely venture out in public together without your toddler--or you--bursting into tears. Chapters include: Preparing the Home for a Toddler Invasion, Communicating with Your Toddler, Feeding a Toddler, Socializing Your Toddler, Grooming Your Toddler, Venturing into Public with a Toddler, Documenting Your Life with a Toddler, Vacationing with a Toddler, Toddler Entertainment and Birthdays, Surviving Bedtime and Potty Training, Technology and the Toddler, and Parental Self-Preservation.

Parenting Is Easy

Parenting Is Easy
Author: Sara Given
Release: 2015-10-06
Editor: Workman Publishing Company
Pages: 176
ISBN: 9780761187134
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

Imagine a world where pregnant women are always upbeat and glowing, newborns sleep on cue, toddlers love to have their teeth brushed, and teenagers gaze adoringly at their parents. Impossible, you say? Not according to advertisers who flood the web with stock photos of perfect parents and children. They’d have you believe that parenting is a piece of cake, and every significant moment of family life takes place on a spotless white couch. So when Sara Given, a real mother of a real toddler, saw a picture of a radiant new mother in a cute little sundress breastfeeding her newborn in the middle of a golf course, she finally had enough. She launched a Tumblr, which is now visited by tens of thousands of new parents looking for a daily pick-me-up. Because what better way is there to deal with the stress and strain of being a new parent than laughter? The perfect gift of cheer and solidarity, Parenting Is Easy exploits the disconnect between these preposterous photos and what happens in real life, and makes every reader laugh out loud—and feel better, too, because we’re in on the joke.

Horizontal Parenting

Horizontal Parenting
Author: Michelle Woo
Release: 2021-10-11
Editor: Chronicle Books
Pages: 112
ISBN: 9781797211398
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

Need a break . . . now? Horizontal Parenting offers 50 hilarious and effective activities designed to entertain kids while you lie down. Children are exhausting! In the marathon of modern parenting, everyone needs a break—just 10 precious minutes to rest your body and tune out the chaos. Enter Horizontal Parenting, the super-simple parenting hack for everyone, everywhere. With creative and practical advice for overworked parents and caretakers who "just need a minute," this book includes 50 fun, effective, and hilarious games to play with toddlers and children while lying down. Activities include: • What's on My Butt • Hide and Seek-ish • Don't Wake the Giant • Railroad to Relaxation • And many more! Relax and let your little ones release some energy while you catch your breath (and maybe a few even a few z's). All you need is a comfortable surface, a few household items, and your child's imagination, and you too can master the sanity-saving art of horizontal parenting. • 50 activities to keep your kids engaged and keep you lying down • Entertaining ideas for children and toddlers • No endless supply lists, screens, or batteries needed • Perfect for long days at home • Great gift for new (or seasoned!) parents Perfect for: parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and caretakers of kids ages 2+

I Heart My Little A Holes

I Heart My Little A Holes
Author: Karen Alpert
Release: 2014-04-08
Editor: Harper Collins
Pages: 304
ISBN: 9780062341617
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.

Mamas Don t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A Holes

Mamas Don t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A Holes
Author: Karen Alpert
Release: 2021
Editor: Houghton Mifflin
Pages: 276
ISBN: 9780358346272
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

From the mom behind Baby Sideburns and the NYT bestseller I Heart my Little A-Holes, a hilarious and matter-of-fact parenting guide to raising happy, kind, and resilient kids.

The Book With a Hole

The Book With a Hole
Author: Hervé Tullet
Release: 2011-02-01
Editor: Tate
Pages: 96
ISBN: 1854379461
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

Presents an illustrated book with a large hole in the middle of every spread that includes suggestions for imaginative and creative ways for readers to interact with the hole.

A Hole in the Wall

A Hole in the Wall
Author: Hans Wilhelm
Release: 2016-01-30
Editor: Holiday House
Pages: 32
ISBN: 0823435350
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

Dog looks through a hole in the wall and sees another dog. But when warthog looks, he sees something very different. This Level D book is perfect for new readers. Dog can't wait to tell Warthog, Lion, and Elephant about the other dog he saw. But when the other animals look through the hole, none of them see the same thing. They argue, because each animal is sure the others are wrong. But it turns out the hole isn't a hole at all--it's a mirror! This funny adaptation of Mark Twain's A Fable is simple enough for the youngest readers, but clever and funny enough for everyone to enjoy--and at the end, friendship prevails.

Toddler Tuesday

Toddler Tuesday
Author: Stephanie Nicholson
Release: 2021-06-10
Editor: Unknown
Pages: 192
ISBN: 1955077061
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

All the hilarity brought to you in a coffee table style hardback edition - perfect for display in your home! Stephanie Nicholson, the creative genius behind Olive and Tate, has been keeping it real on her corner of the internet for years! Inspired by her own offspring, she celebrates the ridiculousness that is parenting toddlers every week with #TODDLERTUESDAY -a platform for sharing our craziest tales of toddler madness. A long-time contributor to Huffington Post and Scarry Mommy, Stephanie also writes no-nonsense parenting tips for those of us in the trenches. Need some alone time? Try a round of food poisoning! In search of a fellow cool mom? Here are 5 types of mom friends (and where you can find them)! Remember the days of driving alone in a clean car? Yeah, neither do we. Over time, she realized that, in addition to inducing deep belly laughs, the shared experience and camaraderie created by #TODDLERTUESDAY actually made parenting toddlers feel less isolating and...maybe even a little easier? Now, the best of the best and worst of the worst of the Toddler Tuesday stories have been compiled in THIS book for parents to enjoy whenever they need a good laugh, or when they simply need to know they aren't alone. This is no What to Expect When You're Expecting. Instead, think of it more as the Sh*t They SHOULD Have Told You BEFORE You Had a Toddler! Buckle up, slip on your adult diaper, and get ready to stifle the laughs that might wake the napping baby. You're in for a wild ride!

Happy Animals Coloring Book for Toddlers

Happy Animals Coloring Book for Toddlers
Author: Coloring Book Kim
Release: 2020-12
Editor: Independently Published
Pages: 102
ISBN: 9798574991794
Language: en
Available for:

DESCRIPTION BOOK:

More information about our coloring pages can be found on our website www.coloringbookkim.com Take advantage of limited promotion !!! 100 fun and happy animals to color Easy and simple coloring book for preschool kids with fun animals. Thick lines and straight images All images are large and easy to color. The lines are bold for easy coloring. Coloring is easier and more fun. Playing and smiling All animals are happy and smiling, which has a positive effect on the child's well-being. As a result, it gives you many hours of great and relaxing coloring fun. Manual training of little hands Thanks to a simple drawing, children can easily color them without worrying about whether they will cross the line. This is the perfect training for little hands. Various animals 100 amazing animals from around the world in one coloring book. This amount of fun will never get bored with children. Great gift This coloring book is a great gift for children aged 1 and over Specifications: Dimensions: 8.5 x 11 inches 100 individual designs.

Oh Crap I Have a Toddler

Oh Crap  I Have a Toddler
Author: Jamie Glowacki
Release: 2019-06-04
Editor: Simon and Schuster
Pages: 304
ISBN: 9781982109745
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

Real-world, from-the-trenches toddler parenting advice from the author of the bestselling Oh Crap! Potty Training. Toddlers—commonly defined as children aged between two and five years old—can be a horribly misunderstood bunch. What most parents view as bad behavior is in fact just curious behavior. Toddlerdom is the age of individuation, seeking control, and above all, learning how the world works. But this misunderstanding between parents and child can lead to power struggles, tantrums, and even diminished growth and creativity. The recent push of early intellectualism coupled with a desire to “make childhood magical” has created a strange paradox—we have three-year-olds with math and Mandarin tutors who don’t know how to dress themselves and are sitting in their own poop. We are pushing the toddler mind beyond its limit but simultaneously keeping them far below their own natural capabilities. In the frank, funny, and totally authentic Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler, social worker Jamie Glowacki helps parents work through what she considers the five essential components of raising toddlers: —Engaging the toddler mind —Working with the toddler body —Understanding and dealing with the toddler behavior —Creating a good toddler environment —You, the parent Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler is about doing more with less—and bringing real childhood back from the brink of over-scheduled, over-stimulated, helicopter parenting. With her signature down-and-dirty, friend-to-friend advice, Jamie is here to help you experience the joy of parenting again and giving your child—and yourself—the freedom to let them grow at their own pace and become who they are.

There Was a Black Hole that Swallowed the Universe

There Was a Black Hole that Swallowed the Universe
Author: Chris Ferrie
Release: 2019-09-03
Editor: Sourcebooks, Inc.
Pages: 40
ISBN: 9781728216126
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

Spark your child's imagination through science and learning with this captivating astronomy book for toddlers. When it comes to kids books about black holes nothing else can compare to this clever science parody from the #1 science author for kids, Chris Ferrie! PLUS, use a black light to reveal secret, invisible text and artwork that reverses the story from nothing to the scientific creation of everything! Using the familiar rhythm of "There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly," follow along as the black hole swallows up the universe and everything that exists in it, from the biggest to the smallest pieces of matter. The silly, vibrant artwork is sure to make stargazers of all ages smile and start a love of science in your baby. There was a black hole that swallowed the universe. I don't know why it swallowed the universe—oh well, it couldn't get worse. There was a black hole that swallowed a galaxy. It left quite a cavity after swallowing that galaxy. It swallowed the galaxies that filled universe. I don't know why it swallowed the universe—oh well, it couldn't get worse.

There Are Moms Way Worse Than You

There Are Moms Way Worse Than You
Author: Glenn Boozan
Release: 2022-03-29
Editor: Workman Publishing
Pages: 65
ISBN: 9781523515646
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

A rhyming illustrated humor book for moms who feel they're not doing a good job (and that's all moms, right?). Packed with scientifically true examples of terrible parents in the animal kingdom, to remind and reassure any mother that there are way worse moms out there.

Confessions of a Domestic Failure

Confessions of a Domestic Failure
Author: Bunmi Laditan
Release: 2017-05-02
Editor: MIRA
Pages: 400
ISBN: 9781488022883
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

Instant Bestseller "Freaking hilarious. This is the novel moms have been waiting for."—Jenny Lawson, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Let's Pretend This Never Happened "Perfect for readers looking for a funny, realistic look at motherhood."—Booklist (starred review) From the creator of The Honest Toddler comes a fiction debut sure to be a must-read for moms everywhere There are good moms and bad moms—and then there are hot-mess moms. Introducing Ashley Keller, career girl turned stay-at-home mom who's trying to navigate the world of Pinterest-perfect, Facebook-fantastic and Instagram-impressive mommies but failing miserably. When Ashley gets the opportunity to participate in the Motherhood Better boot camp run by the mommy-blog-empire maven she idolizes, she jumps at the chance to become the perfect mom she's always wanted to be. But will she fly high or flop? With her razor-sharp wit and knack for finding the funny in everything, Bunmi Laditan creates a character as flawed and lovable as Bridget Jones or Becky Bloomwood while hilariously lambasting the societal pressures placed upon every new mother. At its heart, Ashley's story reminds moms that there's no way to be perfect, but many ways to be great.

Beautiful Black Holes For Kids

Beautiful Black Holes For Kids
Author: K. Bennett,John Davidson
Release: 2016-03-17
Editor: Mendon Cottage Books
Pages: 37
ISBN: 9781310786600
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

Introduction Space, the final frontier… to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life,and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before. ~ Gene Roddenberry *** The universe is full of surprises! We can find amazing things like galaxies, planets, comets, asteroids, moons, meteorites, and more! One of the strangest objects we can find in space is called a… black hole. Have you ever heard of black holes? What do you know about them? Let’s learn more! Black holes are dark areas in space with strong gravity. Not all black holes are black and we cannot see them, but we know they are there. How do we know they exist even though we can’t see them? Scientists study the things that happen around a black hole, and that tells them a black hole is there. The force of a black hole is so strong light cannot escape. Do you know what happens to light when it gets near a black hole? Strong gravity pulls light and everything else into the center. It is so strong that nothing escapes the powerful force, and everything falls in! Black holes come in lots of different sizes. Some are big, and some are small. Some black holes are so big; they are called supermassive black holes. That’s a big, big hole! Black holes affect not only space but time too. How so? Did you know time changes when you get near a black hole? Yes, it does! This is because of Einstein’s theory of relativity. Let’s find out how black holes work and what else we can learn about this mysterious force in the universe!

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers
Author: Tracy Hogg,Melinda Blau
Release: 2002-01-29
Editor: Ballantine Books
Pages: 352
ISBN: 9780345455499
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

Unnerved by the ceaseless demands of your toddler? Concerned that your two-year-old isn’t developing on schedule? You clearly need to spend some time with Tracy Hogg. Nicknamed the “baby whisperer” by grateful parents because of her extraordinary gift for understanding and connecting with children, Tracy became internationally famous after the smashing success of her New York Times bestseller Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. Now Tracy is back with the same winning blend of common sense, uncanny intuition, and results-getting guidance in her new book, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers. Yes, the toddler years have their stresses and challenges for both parents and children–but with Tracy at your side, you’ll find that this can also be the most fascinating and rewarding stretch of parenthood. As in her hugely popular first book, Tracy brings her vast experience to bear on the issues and dilemmas with which all parents grapple during toddlerhood. Starting with the simple but essential premise that there is no such thing as a “typical” child, Tracy guides you through her unique programs, including: • H.E.L.P. (Hold back, Explain, Limit, Praise): the mantra that will remind you of the four elements that are critical to fostering your child’s growth and independence. • Using T.L.C. (Talk, Listen, Clarify) to communicate with your toddler, to figure out what she is really thinking, and to best help her express herself. • R&R: the Routines and Rituals that give structure and predictability to daily life and a sense of continuity to holidays and special occasions. • Rehearsals for Change: ways of preparing your toddler for new experiences by encouraging her to practice her skills in the safe, controlled setting of your family. • Conscious Discipline: a way of teaching your toddler how to behave and manage his emotions, while being mindful of the lessons you teach with your own behavior. Tracy knows that your child is special–a one-of-a-kind individual with her own gifts and needs–and she has dedicated this marvelous new book to helping you appreciate and respect your child’s uniqueness. Whether it’s making new friends, mastering potty training, or eating at the family dinner table, your child will do it in her own way and at his own pace. With Tracy as your guide, you can share in the achievements of toddlerhood every step of the way. Practical, reassuring, and written with wit and energy and boundless enthusiasm for real children and their everyday behavior, this book will be your constant companion during the magical, challenging toddler years.

Reasons My Kid Is Crying

Reasons My Kid Is Crying
Author: Greg Pembroke
Release: 2014-04-01
Editor: Crown
Pages: 208
ISBN: 9780804139847
Language: en
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DESCRIPTION BOOK:

A glimpse into the tribulations of parenting that is part documentary, part therapy, and completely hilarious. It all started when busy father Greg Pembroke posted a few pictures online of his three-year-old son, mid-tantrum, alongside the reason his son was crying: He had broken his bit of cheese in half. In Reasons My Kid is Crying, Greg collects together photos sent from parents around the world, documenting the many, completely logical reasons why small children cry. Among them: “I let him play on the grass” . . . “He ran out of toys to throw into his pool” . . . “The neighbor’s dog isn’t outside”. The result is both an affectionate portrait of the universal, baffling logic of toddlers—and a reminder for burned-out parents everywhere that they are not alone.